Thursday, December 02, 2004

This could only happen in Fort Bend County

The local daily newspaper, The Herald Coaster, is rarely worth the four bits they charge for it. However, today's edition was worth ten dollars cash money. This story about a Mom who cares deeply about dam things is some of the best reading I've enjoyed in a long time.

This is true poetry ----

The victim said he found Mercer's white Chevrolet pickup at the location with its lights off, parked on the right shoulder. The victim said he saw Mercer sitting in the back seat of the vehicle with her legs dangling outside. The victim reported he was then allegedly struck in the head with an unknown object and heard a male voice say, "Hurry up let's go!"

I mean, this is why I became a journalist - I oh so desparetly wanted to write, " ... he saw Mercer sitting in the back seat of the vehicle with her legs dangling outside," but Stephen Palkot beat me to it.

It should be noted to non-natives that Mercer's husband, Chubby (no, I'm not kidding), ran for sheriff a few years back. He lost to someone far more unqualified.

I will try to be a good investigative humorist and find out who the victim is, why he waited a full year to press charges, and why his co-worker took him all the way to Wharton with a broken head. That's about a 30 minute drive pass six or seven hospitals.

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